the rest of me

i'm still smiling on the outside

as if i didn't feel a thing

are you better off alone

smiling through everyone you meet? 

as i'm still decaying

pretending i'm who i used to be

but my teeth are chipping

as i struggle just to breathe

you took all that was left in me

--

i'm trying so hard just to be okay

though the smiles never fade

as i become something that i hate

i have to let go of the ashes

of what used to be 

you were my reason to breathe

and now you're just another voice saying i should leave

so whats left to believe? 

where's the rest of me?

--

sometimes you can learn from the enemy,

when your standing in the in-between,

you learn exactly what not to be.

and after all the hurt dreams,

and broken chances,

after sit outs and miss outs on all the school dances.

i will look back and applaud

that i was stronger than the weight of my circumstances.

---

but these hills will never crumble,

they have to be climbed,

and you can't scale these mountains

carrying what ought be left behind.

so i'll smile on the good days,

and swear i'm okay

smear makeup on the bad days

and chant it just the same.

---

because i may be broken.

but my stitches are holding

this wounded heart to it's frame.

and i'll wear my scars with pride

because i'm not ashamed.

and you can take a bow

and some critical acclaim.

because all you are is the reason

i didn't fade away.

your torture makes me stronger

and gives me a purpose just the same.

because who i was cannot remain

who i am and who i want to be is all that i can bare to claim.

so take this bow

and smile now, because its you who is to blame.

good living is the best revenge

and i will make you pay

unsound minds at play

tell me that ive lost my mind
hush little baby dont you cry
because when it comes down to the point
when were at the end of our wire
we will raise our voice in joy as they set the fires
and burn us to the ground

and what cant be found
is left in translation
what weve left behind
cant be changed with any amount of erasing
youll never hide the stains
and you cant escape the rain
its carressing the dead skin on my back
and peeling off my face
thank god that you arent around
to witness my fallfrom grace

summer air, leave me pale
out of breath and unafraid
leave me to my devices
tied to the speeding train
i cant be slain
no matter how bad it seems it never ends
i just get back up and start again

if you need a place for shelter
turn and look the other way
because im to lost and broken
to even know your name
much less my own
were tossed and thrown
into the pit of flames

ive got so much to do and so little time
every moment precious
can you chime in on the next line,
and wrap me up
before i ramble on again
like a distressed forgotten refrain
the only thing ive left to ask is this
do you feel the same
and can you find it in your heart to ever love me again
im not well anymore, not speaking to myself
can you tell me whats my name its lost again

hell hath no fury

in the bitter cold
world that we call home
there is nothing left
to scavenge nothing left but emptyness to find
the big wide world is waiting
so how will you greet it when you leave
just another overprepared know nothing
or a budding freak

are we a joke
was i mistaken to believe
that you were something
i could achieve
so i guess its time to move on like before
because its over once more
before anything had begun

and under the harsh sun
out in the heat
i will melt for you
when my heart is done defrosting
i froze my blood and dove into the sea
so i would be out of my misery

youll never see me smile again
ill never crack this icy peak
to which i adhere my skin
and wait patiently
for new ships to sink

hear my siren call i pray you come looking
hell hath no fury lke that of me
and to think
i once was so full of sympathy
so hear my siren call i pray that you come looking

darling, i dont love you anymore

the truth is im not okay
but i strive really hard for it to be that way
and i cant take
another failure in your wake
its not fair to be left holding in the air
when all i want now is to deflate

could you be someone to love
there was a time i thought
you might be sent from above
but now i see your the devil in disguise
and i could have been your prize
but you gave me up as so many before
and now im sitting here
wondering what for

even the bad ones go away
the ones you were never searching for
the ones that just seemed to go your way
and isnt it great
how some things never change

you could at least pretend that your glad to see me
deep down in your heart of darkness theres something worth saving
or so i believed
and yet you look at me
with disgust in your eyes and i cant help but wonder
will i always wonder why
your just the latest catastrophy that i had to survive
whats it for
all i can say is that i dont hate
but darling i dont love you anymore

say this in closing

the lights are flickering
soon therell be none at all
once again its time to grow up
once again its time for you to move on

pick up your things and walk out into the world
to find where we belong
or to keep on moving on
with no direction

so now your off to see what you can find
you waited 17 years to figure out if it was all a waste of your time
who knows what your future holds
its all up in the air,

will you be who you wanted to be
or will you settle for the path your parents took
will you rise above or will you slip into the nook
and fade in with the walls
for one moment you can feel alright
feel dignified , feel triumphant when your name is called

but who can say what will happen next
your education failed you,
now wait in line for your unemployment checks
the acceptance letter got lost in the mail
now your content with wasting your life just chasing your tail

you keep convincing yourself that its not worth giving up
just wait it out and hopefully your time will come
living life just to be the teachers pet
all that learning, and all your left with is regret

your lifes half over and your such a fool
you could have lived but your too busy being the talk of the stenopool
this in closing is the last chance we'll have to feel alright
from here on out everyday is gonna be a fight

for some its a struggle everyday just to live
and for the rest its getting over the despicable things that you did
to secure your place under the boss grace
misguided ambitionary was it worht it to win the race
and did you find
that the prize was on the other side?

this in closing
is a statement to reinforce
the morals and false truths that we promise to uphold
just to forget them when things get tough
when you make it to the top will it ever be enough
to satisfy your blood lust,

the dark side of ambition
is that its an irreversable condition
and all the guilt and all the shame
cannot bring back the friendships you have slain
you took the path most traveled , and arent your role models proud
just another carbon copy that the system churned out

for the few , left of you who avoid this fate
keep your chins up while their spitting in your face
your may not eat for three weeks at a time
but know that its not a mirage your seeking behind your finish line

for those of us , who learned nothing in school
for those who the system failed who broke all the right rules
for those who scraped by and who nearly failed
you are the ones who will suffer but will blaze the trail

so fake your smiles for the cameras now
take your diplomas and take a bow
grow up and brace yourself
because the time for procrastination
and preparation has run out
take a deep breath bite your lip because the future is now

raise a glass, and heres to hoping
this in closing

carcinogen lullaby

for what its worth to you
have a good time while you can
do what you want to do
while your still livin with mom and dad

well ill do what i want and buy what i please
cause now i can do anything finally free finally 18
andwe were already drinking long before we learned how to drive

but today you woke up from the day dream
just to find
your paychecks on delay
but all the bills arrived on time

now all the money is gonna pay the overdraft fees
there'll  be nothing left for groceries
how oh how will you survive

its time again to hit the streets
to find a way to make ends meet and pay the rent
you better hurry up and get famous kid

how will you survive?

- i cant think of a better reason to get loaded
your depressed and your anxious,
filling through the bank statements
coming up short again
i couldnt make up a better reason to be loaded
the best that you can do to cope
is to smoke until your chokin
and your lungs are givin in

all the frustration
calls for a mild sedation
just to handle the nerves so you
can get through
need to slip under the grip
of a nicotene dream
so for a moment you can breathe
i couldnt think of a better reason to get loaded

" this is my carcinogen lullaby
i need to die a little
just so i can feel alright
so i can try to get through the night -

the house is trashed
your gonna have to pay for that
with the money you dont have

can you see a pattern forming

some get it all but the ones like us will never have nothing
could you find a better reason to get loaded
-
by yourself  your not coping
in one week we'll be on the streets
you need help , therapys expensive
but cigarettes are cheap
needing a break from reality
gonna slip into the safety
of a nicotene dream its so comforting"

this is my carcinogen lullaby
you know its not a popular answer
but we might not even live to see cancer
anyway all we know is that today is too much
you need a crutch to hold you
when your pressed up against a wall
something to cushion the fall

carcinogen lullaby , make me feel allright
fix me up and take me out
help me from feeling let down

.. and at the party
your pissed cause your the one whos driving
got to hide the embarassing truth that your starving
but let them have their fun
who needs to know that your dying

a little everyday

got suspended from work indefinitely
 , how will you survive?
the moneys all run out , and time is ticking
now your slipping

how will you survive
your just a small fish in a large ocean

could you find a better reason to get loaded

" this is my carcinogen lullaby
 yeah i need a little help to get through the night
my head is going numb i just want to feel alright
how will we survive
this is my carcinogen lullaby
its not a socially respected answer
but i doubt ill even live to see cancer
so might as well  does anyone have a light?

pressed up against a wall
need a crutch to hold me up
and cushion my fall
can you make me feel alright?"

life isnt always what it seems
some seem to get it all meanwhile your getting nothing
just bad news and rejection apologies
no way to settle the score
self medicating
is just so  comforting

live it out but the stress is fracturing
we all need help cant find ourselves
we need to get lost for a while its time for discombobulating
to distract us from the pain

sing yourself to sleep
say goodnight and close your eyes
if only for five minutes of time
this is my carcinogen lullaby
its bittersweet but its what i need to keep me alive
you know we've got to live fast because tomorrow we may well die
does anyone have a light ?

the dark side of ambition

so dr. jekyl tell me about your situation
is it true what theyre saying about you
or is it just speculation
i think we should shed a little light on the subject
take out our magnifying glass, anylize the subtext

well if your one to complain
its only evidence to your shame
your gonna have to try a little harder
to substantiate your claims

no no no

it never happened this way
i never touched the blame
i have nothing for which to be ashamed
i am not the one you seek
so quit pointing your fingers at me

......

laying down on the concrete
with the evidence in hand
a puddle of blood
makes it a self defense
youve got no control
everyone take your pitty to him
spare the man let the monster inside be condemned

.......

so jack the ripper
remember to fasten your zipper
been prowling the streets too long
i know that somethings going on

well your always avoiding
trying to keep in the shadows out of sight
well isnt it time to let the truth come to light

.......
 well youve got nothing left to gain
better wallow in your pain
its a crime of passion you see
theres no sin on me

play out your sympathy
to fool the judge and your jury
you might have them fooled
but your not playing by the rules

explain your sorrow to them
they might believe
but i know what it is your hiding
..........

the lies that you carry out
concealed behind the doubt
isnt it time you let your secrets out
dont keep them bottled up inside
the more you try to hide
the more you get caught up in your lies

oh dear count of mine
why is your mouth red all the time
well tell me honestly
got a habbit for good storys
but fictions not what im after
dont need a happily ever after
just need the truth at any cost


well if your one to complain
its only evidence to your shame
your gonna have to try a little harder
to substantiate your claims

the more you stay around the scene
the more i seem to notice when you linger
the more you proffess your innocence
the more you point the finger
 at your at your self
well your lying doesnt help

........
 im not the one to blame
ive got nothing to be ashamed
and if you need the proof right now your gonna have to wait
my alibys being staged

and the more you say

it never happened this way
i the one to blame
i have nothing for which to be ashamed
i am not the one you seek
so quit pointing your fingers at me

have your cake and choke on it too

just another nail in the coffin
you break your vows
and change hands often
your one who trys to preach
but youve got no soul that you can reach

ive got a reason
for this that im feelin
its a fed up hatred
and hating to be used

" your just a pointless mission
never know what you are missing
cause your never in one place for a long time
your gonna get caught one day in your lies
and noones gonna be on your side

what will you do , when im not there for you
because god knows you wouldnt be there for me
so why is it that im supposed to be a bad friend
when i cant service your every whim
but your not to blame when i need something "

you can never take the truth
because its to harsh to hear
you get so wrapped up in your selfishness
that you'll say anything and try to make it sincere
if it gets you what you came for , then therse no problems here

get me a drink
so that i can think
clearly when im talking to you
ive got to be out of my mind
to understand the stupid things that you do

so tell me what is your problem now
how will the mellodrama play out

is this a new episode
feels like a re run
because its always the same thing you know
tell the same sob story
it wont work on me cause im done

" your just a pointless mission
never know what you are missing
cause your never in one place for a long time
your gonna get caught one day in your lies
and noones gonna be on your side

what will you do , when im not there for you
because god knows you wouldnt be there for me
so why is it that im supposed to be a bad friend
when i cant service your every whim
but your not to blame when i need something "

just another nail in the coffin
you tell lies so often
that its astounding you remember your name
well theres only one question i have
why did you bother , why have you came

just another nail in the coffin
youve got no reasons to be here
well tell me my dear
when are you going to quit
and how is it that i could forget

im done with everything
im going to sit back and watch you hang
because to me now you dont mean a thing

Theology

tie my hands, so i wont break any bones
lock me down , so i dont lose control
talk me down , cause theres no way out of this
not that i see, all i see is emptyness

Silver tongued
and piercing gaze
breaking down my wall
indiscriminate hate

" your eyes like the pit of my soul
your wind lifting up my hollow bones
take flight my soul
and leave the rest lost and faded
fill me with a hope that cant be tainted

fill me with your night
take it away so contrast makes me bright
whisper to me and bring me to life"

hold my skin to this flesh
so it wont slip away
drown out my sorrow ,
so it cannot stain

pull me in
then wash me down
swallow me whole
then spit me out

leave my body breathless
broken in the ground
cover me in earth
as your lower it down
remember me perfect
so you'll have no reasons to forget


" your eyes like the pit of my soul
your wind lifting up my hollow bones
take flight my soul
and leave the rest lost and faded
fill me with a hope that cant be tainted

fill me with your night
take it away so contrast makes me bright
whisper to me and bring me to life"

i dont believe in gods
but i believe its true
something in all of us
exists to bring something else through

were never gonna find it
if we try to look
something this great
you cant define in a book

so they call me a sinner
they'd wish to excommunicate
if only they could
if only i came

they'll call me a heathen
brand me insane
doing the world a favor
putting hot lead in my brain

if it makes you feel better
because my eyes are open
and ill never see the same

" your eyes like the pit of my soul
your wind lifting up my hollow bones
take flight my soul
and leave the rest lost and faded
fill me with a hope that cant be tainted

fill me with your night
take it away so contrast makes me bright
whisper to me and bring me to life"

so fill me with your light
and give me the strength
all i see is good,
unlike those who are tamed
by the fear, of what
they refuse to understand
they never would , doesnt matter if they can

i found faith, in a lack of belief
i found that god brings noone relief
this is so much older
its something i can touch
if you dont want to hear it
well then cling to your crutch

my eyes are open
and finally i see
the things that held me back
were the laws that i believed
so i found balance in something i can feel
it isnt whats popular
but its something that is real

i hope they burry me deep beneat the soil
i hope they think , that they can damn my soul
well heres to hopin'
and heres to us "lost souls"
cause my eyes are open
and they'll never make them close

mission statments of the defiant

reconcile your imperfection
so you can mollify your pain
focus on your own addictions
and alleviate the strain

its all about convictions
and can you sanctify your name
get up off your high perch
and learn to fly again

" dont turn the lights out
cause im not going home
give me a place to stand
and i will move the earth
a heart is just a broken thing
that i dont have and dont deserve
so dont pick me up let me learn this on my own
but dont turn the lights out cause im not goin home"

preach your words into my ears
sedate my disbelief and disavow my fear
that maybe im not good enough
pierce the veil around my soul its tough
but you can take away my tears
and though my edges are rough
dont give up when i can almost hear

" dont turn the lights out
cause im not going home
wont give it up now
i can make it on my own
its not that i dont need help
im just to dependant on myself
to know when its okay
to let someone else bare the strain
and i dont want to feel like ive left you in the rain
if i take your helping hand and escape
so dont give up your almost through
your message is painful but its true
and i dont know what to do
if i cant do iton my own
so dont turn the lights out
cause i cant stand to be alone"

the stars are falling once again
and i can catch them in my filth hands
will you dance
teach me the steps
and we will turn back the clock
if only for a minute

give me a chance
to show you my world
and just observe
the changes i have made
to survive all the hardship thrown at me
would you think me weak
or would you applaud me

would you tell me i did good
or would you cut me out again
can you hear
are you listening
am i talking to myself
somethings even to you i cant explain

there are these things
that make it difficult
im not forgetting
but i would forgive you anything
im not upset its just no shock to me
that when everything falls down
i turn around ,
and once again
your nowhere to be found

" dont turn the lights out
cause i dont want to go home
im not ready to call it quits
even as the curtain closes
im quite used to being alone
i think i can make it on my own
leave me anywhere you want
but you cant take me home
becuase theres nowhere i can go
and call it home

give me a moment and break me
and i will repair the tear
hold my heart to your heart and swear
that you will be there
dont turn the lights out
its not over theres more to be shown
dont turn the lights out
cause im not ready to go home"

Corporate sacrifice

the sun never sets on the british empire
the evil planet smiles
all of the plans that were set into motion
have born the fruit of cruel desires

chaining the inferior and te different
while silencing the rebel cries
called to arms we have found a demon
to which we can pin our lies

we gave a cause for the social schism
we persecute and we call it right
no one will question our good intentions
they hold the guns but we set their sights

profits are turned when the worlds in opposition
the more we make from the more who die
why should we care for the innocent
when we mint gold from their blood and their lives

" its all about placing blame
more havoc induced is more money to claim
noone will question the situation we have made
moral heros sharpen your blades

massacre the children in the night
we sit behind our false idols
at the base of golden walls we hide
hoist your banner your the face of progress
encourage killing cause it makes your stocks rise"

the sun never sets
the sun never dies
the sun never sets
forget your sympathy and fall in line

" its all about placing blame
more havoc induced is more money to claim
no one will question the situation we have made
moral heros sharpen your blades

massacre the children in the night
so they dont grow up and learn to fight
we sit behind our false idols
at the base of golden walls we hide
your the face of false progress
so carry your banner high
encourage killing cause it makes your stocks rise"

fires will burn the village down
destroy the huts and tents and build a town
clear out the locals its the kings land now

educate the heathens and call them civilized
we conquered the new world forget the ones who were here first
the whole maps colonized
raise the flag , theyll never get it back
no matter how hard they try

" its all about placing blame
more havoc induced is more money to claim
no one will question the situation we have made
moral heros sharpen your blades

massacre the children in the night
so they dont grow up and learn to fight
we sit behind our false idols
at the base of golden walls we hide
your the face of false progress
so carry your banner high
encourage killing cause it makes your stocks rise"

the sun never sets
the sun never dies
forget your regrets, fall in line
hail to the new world order
her holy empire never will she die
burn all the pages in history
that claim what we did wasnt right
its just another corporate sacrifice

Show and tell , SHot in 9 millimeter

 twitching eyes glance down the barrel
of a loaded god complex with a lasting cap heart
and now were all in peril ,
as he threatens to tear himself apart
his veins are full of gasoline
hes got c4 in his liver and his spleen
we should have seen this coming

hearts collide at the speed of sound
the lights go up and we paint the town
a whole new kind of red
and how could they forget
hes gonna make them listen
and he has spoken
with no words but it left you broken

could you believe
what your seeing with your eyes
as the fire grows and the fumes black out the sky
can you blame him
for something he felt was the only way out
he kissed the gun, with a bullet in the spout
and now hes spoken , now hes spoken
and it cannot be undone

 bullets fly at the speed of sound
he closed his eyes and branded this town
a killer with a heart of stone
painted the town , a whole new shade of red
and you can not forget, what hes said
now hes spoken , now hes spoken

look to the mirror if your searching for the reason
everyone who never had the time
and as the muzzle flash glistened
he found a way to make them listen
isnt it a perfect commentary
on the kind of world we live in

he searched his whole damn life
for a way to end his strife
and he traded in his knife
for something a little more theatrical
and powerful
he was always hard to handle
but noone seemed to care why
so he gave destruction a try

and as your guilt is settling
and you ask yourself why he did it
how can you blame him
he tried so hard for your attention
well he finally found a way to make you listen

Relat-(ion)-sinking-ships

"the past is the past
or so they say
but i cant help bringing it up
in these social outings
and my oh my, isnt it astounding
how people never change
your still the same
and hes the lucky one
so why do you keep
dialing my number all the time
just to feed me the same old tired lines"

i cut my hair and dyed my bangs
change my earrings and my name
and somehow i still fall for your type
and after everyone of them is gone
i still see your face
oh isnt he the lucky one
but does he know the secrets your hiding
and how you just cant
keep my name out of your mouth
maybe its time you figure this out

" the past is the past
or so they say
but i just cant help
brining it up in these social outings
and my oh my isnt it astounding
how people never change
your still the same
isnt he the lucky one
so why do you keep dialing
my number all the time
just to feed me
the same old tired lines"

i gave you my time for free
and kept your sullied memory
you didnt want to keep me
good to know im only worth fucking
and they wonder why im low on self esteem

"the past is the past or so they say
but i cant help bringing it up
in these social outings
and my oh my isnt it astounding
how people never change
your still the same
and hes the lucky one
so why do you keep dialing
my number all the time
just to feed me
the same tired lines"

arent these the places
and the faces
we still treasure mutually
you seem distressed
but your the one thats haunting me
and lately ive been thinking

"the past is the past or so they say
but i just cant help bringing it up
in these social outings
and my oh my isnt it astounding
how people never change
your still the same
and hes the lucky one
so why do you keep dialing
my number all the time
just to give me
the same tired lines"

well maybe im too good for you
but why are we both still longing
your friends could never mean anything
but yet you choose pretty faces and accuainting
over love and extacy

"the past is the past or so they say
but i cant help bringing it up
in these social outings
and my oh my isnt it astounding
how people never change
your still the same
and hes the lucky one
so why do you keep dialing
my number all the time
to give me the same tired lines"

well when you get back to your
charades and poker
remember that for a moment you let
your guard recede for me
pardon me for being upset
when i thought that meant something
keep trying to forget
and crawl back to your closet

The past is the past or so they say
but i cant help bringing it up
in these social outings
i express what you try to repress
but why are you so ashamed and why are you hiding
tag your it because im done with counting
if you want me again well good luck finding
love once lost cant be reclaimed
yet i still fall for your type
the same pretty faces to whom i am nothing
more than just a fling

Building Dieties

i am the walking deity
a demi god in this wicked society,
if anone should challenge me
they will walk with me
in heaven for all of eternity ,

empty promises reap no rewards,
and hollow point wit is no match for swords,
its a crazy world we live in and were all mad,
so wipe the frown from your face
and quit feeling sad,
we paint this world perfect
and become what we dream ,
because reality is never truely how it seems

watch the colors run as they bleed
through the canvas
the tallest man is no greater than the praying mantis
its all in the perspective and my view is clear
theres no escape once you enter here

the rabbit hole
is swallowing
the last remnants of this so called reality
it detonates the realm in which we live
and brings us back to being primitive

we build then we break
we destroy to grow
if humanity is civilized then you must not know
the terror that we cause on a day to day
we kill our own kind, and masquerade
we break all our rules, and put man before all
we stab each other in the backs and murder all that crawls
the earth is ours to claim, so keep your aim straight
the gods will fall, and olympus waits

" what are you waiting for
isnt this why you were born
to become another cog in the machine
or do your dreams lead you to something more
forge your own destiny
and give purpose to the empty
break apart the chaos and make it perfect
you are the hero of your own epic
time to be a man to settle the score
the future that your waiting for is outthe front door"

take this breath and hold your ground
exhale with hurricane force but make no sound
keep your stance straight and your back erect
reign over everything that the light reflects
suit up and ship out sail away
the spils of war are won and lost based on your fate
theres no escape but dont lose your will
your bound to your calling and bring all of your skill
tonight we dine in hell so have no fear
we go down fighting or we were never here
be remembered and become something great
your destiny is based on what you create

" what are you waiting for
isnt this why you were born
to become another cog in the machine
or do your dreams lead you to something more
forge your own destiny
and give purpose to the empty
break apart the chaos and make it perfect
you are the hero of your own epic
time to be a man to settle the score
the future that your waiting for is outthe front door"

what are you waiting for the futures right here
enough with your doubting give up your fear
feel the sweat as it coats your face
the exits are blocked so make a way
heros never run,
and villains never give up
its now or never, are you good or corupt
the decisions are black and white
so will you run like a child or be a god and fight

" what are you waiting for
isnt this why you were born
to become another cog in the machine
or do your dreams lead you to something more
forge your own destiny
and give purpose to the empty
break apart the chaos and make it perfect
you are the hero of your own epic
time to be a man to settle the score
the future that your waiting for is out the front door"

and now you breath your dying breath
hold it in let it fill your chest
feel the prosperity
and walk into the light
we are the walking deities
and we conquer olympus tonight

Substantiate

 noone can climb the mountaintop ,
 its far too high
the walls we build reach toward the sky,
the sun will be blotted
by the blackness in our soul
and the world will grow
barron and cold,
the lines we draw in sand
are washed away,
the footprints we leave
are encased in clay,
and we will never be forgotten,
for the terrible attrocities we perpotrate,
under the guise of the innocent mistake

broadcasting what we pretend to be ashamed
and crucifying those who arent the same
we are the only ones who cause our pain
what are we living for , and when theres noone left
who is it that you blame

collecting hearts to sacrifice
to our empty void
and give us life
we waste what we get
and feel no regret
because its just so easy
to wash your hands of it
and hide the secrets away

we treat life like a toy
and we fight against each other
and trade old friends for new lovers
giving it all away at the first bid
we poison ourselves
and crash and burn
we cant prepare
because we never learn

collecting hearts to sacrifice
to our empty void
to feel new life
because were all too afraid to die
but not prepared to live
were stuck in between
and cant get over the hill
we climb and we climb,
and we get nowhere
the more we get
the less we care

hold a glass high for the damaged
at least we have character
we will learn to manage
we will never quit and never surrender
the demographic is not ours to claim
and we dont fit in and yet were to blame
so propose a toast for the lost and broken
for those who keep heads high
 with our eyes wide open
normal is defective so forgive me when i decline
this dream that your forcing , is not one of mine

Curtain Call

turn up the lights
let me see you fall
grace the floor
on your knees now crawl

I am the show
and you get what you pay for
you oughta know
youve got to buy your time
bathe me in the spotlight
and follow my decline

nose to the sky
parading like a god
excess on high
the lights are too damn hot
but ive got it all im in my prime
isnt it amazing
yeah and isnt it sublime

i am the show
and you get what you pay for
you oughta know
youve got to buy your time
bathe me in the spotlight
and follow my decline

my heels are aching
my heart is breaking
and the lines are showing
as my make ups flaking
can you take a break
and call an intermission
i need to satidfy my superstitions
isnt it hard to handle
strike the match and burn this candle
and watch it glow
cath me
im a falling star
and it is to be said
that we are who we are

i am the show
im the leading man
you know
i payed my dues
and its my time
bathe me in spotlight
and follow my decline
hold your lines
give me my moment
mad like a hornet
ive got you all under my claws
and in my spell
this is a private hell
and its time to go on
let the drama flow
everyone will know
i am the show

everyone
is just the same
they dont care
they just bare witness to my shame
i earned the fame
but took it too far
yelling pull the curtain
staring at the headlights of an oncomong car
i am the star
and this is my tragic demise
you alone can make me into something
something i despise
and i dont know why
i live like this
its like heroin to me
and i just cant resist

i am the show
im the leading man
dont you know
i did my time
i played all the characters
and worked my way up the line
into the prime
now i sit here on my pedestal
as the empire meets its demise

I am the show
im the leading man
dont you know
payed my dues it is my time
now let me shine
bathe me in the spotlight
take care and follow my decline

the pay is bad the hours are slow
you watched me grow
youll watch me die
snap your fingers and on cue i will cry
look what i built , it glimmers beautifully
who would of thought it would be what destroyed me

I am the show
im the leading man
dont you know
hold the line
bathe me in the spotlight
and follow my decline
the more we hurt the more we grow
the more you live the more you know
never stop and take it slow
everybody knows
im the main attraction
sit back and enjoy the action

I am the show
im the leading man
dont you know
i payed my dues
time after time
bathe me in the spotlight
and watch me as i shine
careful dont lose me
follow me into my decline
we are our only foes
for heaven knows
its gotta end sometime
living life inside the glow
of flashing lights
I am the show

Suicide doors spoil all the fun

interesting to say the least
your a misunderstanding
part of the bigger beast
of politics and bad planning
your just another statistic that broke the mold
but your never gonna get back to the life that you sold
and is it cold out there, out there on your own
take a still frame,fixing up your heart of shame
your a project thats behind the deadline
waiting for a lifeline

press eject
hit the button and get away
run as far as you can
try and escape your disgace
smiling like a vandal
clinging tight to the handle
of your getaway car

youve got the gasoline
while drinking kerosene
swallow your molotov coctail
light the fuse send em all to hell
youve got the drakest soul that ive ever seen
but its alright
your interesting to say the least
just a cog in the gears of the disaster machine
kid your gonna be fine

so drop all of your inspirations
find a new way to infiltrate the system
and send it all computer virus style crashing down
hot the lights cue the explosion sounds
youve got an sadistic way of partying

press eject hit the button and get away
fast as you can, gotta make yourself a better man
your a little rattlesnake with withdrawl shakes
need excitment just to give you a high
well theyre all fake ,
make em pay before they give you a ride
smiling like a vandal
clinging tight to the handle
of your getaway car

ill be your driver
so grab the cash
dead on arrival
show em what you got

we lost our invite to the party
showed up overdressed and tardy
but its allright
and oh boy did the bouncers get quite a show
so grab your guns and here we go
reach it for the sky
wont some preacher come and save my soul
i cant resist the temptation , cause im much too bold

press eject
hit the button and get away
got a tongue like a rattlesnake
but its so convincing
you got me where you want me now
a hot item on the black market
with a run in your stockings
your alright
so come on tonight
lets hit up every easy target that we pass by

press eject hit the button and get away
hide the bullets in the ashtray
hit the gas and run like hell
and even if they catch us
theyre nevver gonna get us to tell
and even if they catch theyll never
ever get us to tell

No such thing as bad press

 in with the wind and out just the same
drifting where my compass takes me
i know nothing of what you say
im not from here and i feel no pain
i cannot wait to get out of this town

take a breath cause your wheezing
take a pill cause your seizing up
and take a sniff of that white stuff
to put a stop to the sneezing
cough up your lungs and fix your makeup
because your face is showing
well mirror mirror are you pretty enough

" the fakest part of you
is that all the glue
wont hold together
your coming undone
and show no emotions
can you even feel any sensation
beneath your mask
taking it off is a task
because im not sure it may be who you are
why are you trying so hard"

i cant stop pretending she says
at the top of her lungs in a crowded room
well did you get what you want
now that the atentions on you
theres no such thing as bad press
thers no such thing , well not when im in this dress

the glasses break as the jaws drop
i cant believe she said it
well if im not so wrong
you'd probably let me forget it
wel thers no such thing, as bad press
she says she says,
and who am i to blame, when you taught me everything

i know this is hard  but the hardest part
is fighting yourself, and facing the truth
theres no such thing, well keep dreaming

" the fakest part of you
is that youl never be
what you keep saying you are
well mirror mirro on the wall
tell me the im pretty too
with six inch heels and a six inch dress
theres no such thing, no such thing
as bad press,
its all like make believe ,
look now im on tv
as the cops pull over my car
thers no such thing, as bad press
no business like show business
why are you trying so hard"

the paparazzi is , i kid in glasses
trying to sneak a peak through her window
in the candle glow
he saw things that hustler is too classy to show
she doesnt care, and without underwear
she strikes her most provocative pose
in six inch heels and a six inch dress
she says theres no such thing as bad press

the gentlemans club
probably spit you up
remember that youve got to charge
before you go too far
you give up everything for free
well pay attention next time
and remember the lights are in your mind

theres no such thing if you know what i mean
no such thing well theres no such thing

" so strike a pose
and put on some clothes
noone cares to buy what your selling
are we to late for the show
with the candle glow
you reveal everything
keep in mind
that when you sell your time
it helps to collect first and tell what your charging
she says in six inch heels and a six inch dress
well thers no such thing as bad press"

Judas

set the fires , let it all go up
smok will choke all of the corrupt
who still stand in the way
what is it there all trying to save
fighting for a piece of currency

" what has all of this money done for you
and what is the silver worth
would you kill for a dollar bill
and for a piece of eight who would you betray
judas? how have you come to this
judas? i guess we were never friends
judas? can you can you hear the bells
judas? your greed has bought you hell"

crucify the innocents
nail yourself to the cross of gold
trade your life for anything that shines
never know what the future holds
give away all that you cared for
to buy yourself a clue
well for what glimmers in the right light,
you gave up your soul ,
was it worth it all to you
and did you regret it after it was sold
seal the deal with ink and blood
and know that you can not undo
what devils have you sold out to?

" judas coming down the mountain
judas the walking troll
judas your tainted and lonely
judas you gave up your soul
judas gave up all that was holy
for the silver that turned you cold"

walk this world forever with the silver in your hand
and try to figure out and understand
each day you carry your own cross
and all the money will not do
your greed is insatiable, and you cant quench your thirst
with lust and guilty hearts, you forever crawl the earth
judas coming down the mountain
after saking hands
the devil waits in silence
watching you fulfill his plans
pilot will wash his hands, and yet the blood will stain
and judas for ten pieces of silver, yu bought eternal pain

" what did all that money get you
how much is silver really worth
would you kill for a dollar bill
and forever walk the earth
for a piece of eight who would you betray
judas? do you hold anything dear
judas? does your guilt still keep you here
judas? can you hide your sullen face
judas? sold something you could not replace
judas? i dont know why you did this
judas? betrayed us all with a kiss
judas? can you here the bells
judas? for ten pieces of silver, you bought yourself hell"

Russian Roulette

sit down , at the table
playing god, with a hnd thats unable
to get you to the next round
but its not too late for you to pull out now
i play for keeps, no time for surprises
i got the cards up my sleeves, and get all the prizes
if you think you got  what it takes
well baby sit down , and lets play

" let it all go
say it aint so
your lying to me i know
but bless your heart you mean well
and i can tell
your smile is fading
your eyes are glazing
your afflicted just the same
you shouldnt have tried to play my games"

Its all unwinable
why do you  contnue to try
the die is cast, decisions are made
well thats how you play do you like this game
freezing me in
a deceptive stare
i know what your hiding
keep your hand there
throw another bet baby if you dare

keep your eyes locked
dont be misunderstood
your money is mine
wouldnt let you take it back  if you could
" let it all go
say it aint so
your lying to me i know
but bless your heart you mean well
and i can tell
your smile is fading
your eyes are glazing
your afflicted just the same
you shouldnt have tried to play my games"

you dont always have to be strong
you keep on your own you wont last long
your gonna burn down in flames
your gonna die in vain
and when they lay you to rest wouldnt it be a shame
if they didnt remember your name
well never try to play my games
well you shouldnt well you shouldnt
i knew you couldnt , take it
well i knew you couldnt, take this

" let it all go
say it aint so
your lying to me i know
but bless your heart you mean well
and i can tell
your smile is fading
your eyes are glazing
your afflicted just the same
you shouldnt have tried to play my games"

lay down your weapons, give up the fight
you dont alwys have to be so damn right
accept the fact, everyones wrong sometimes
give in give up , and get out alive
this is a game youll never win
learn how to fold, never call all in
i told you i meant it, i wasnt bluffing
well now your in for it , cause ive got something
under my skin
under the table , with my ace in the hole,
i begged and pleaded , but you still wouldnt fold

your too head strong for you own good
well maybe you misunderstood
im not as easy to figure out,
im not that easy now
maybe your sorry, but its far to late
i told you not to try to play my games

" let it all go
say it aint so
your lying to me i know
but bless your heart you mean well
and i can tell
your smile is fading
your eyes are glazing
your afflicted just the same
you shouldnt have tried to play my games"

turn up the bottle , take a hit to the head
and drown out the silence
russian roulette
turn up that botle , take the hit to the head
drown out the silence
russian ...russian

well maybe you thought wrong ,
it happens all the time
well maybe you need to give up
just say goodbye
walk away and keep your life

i play for keeps didnt i tell you
i take what i please, didnt i tell you
im not one thats so easy to beat
ill hustle you down can you taste the defeat
im hard to crack , you wont quite get away
wont see me on my back , theres no way
if your so dead set on it, well then lets play
you think you can win , well let the games begin

" let it all go
say it aint so
your lying to me i know
but bless your heart you mean well
and i can tell
your smile is fading
your eyes are glazing
your afflicted just the same
you shouldnt have tried to play my games"

so you think so you think you can handle it
but baby baby dont forget
im not that easy , and your gonna regret
playing russian  roulette