i'm still smiling on the outside
as if i didn't feel a thing
are you better off alone
smiling through everyone you meet?
as i'm still decaying
pretending i'm who i used to be
but my teeth are chipping
as i struggle just to breathe
you took all that was left in me
--
i'm trying so hard just to be okay
though the smiles never fade
as i become something that i hate
i have to let go of the ashes
of what used to be
you were my reason to breathe
and now you're just another voice saying i should leave
so whats left to believe?
where's the rest of me?
--
sometimes you can learn from the enemy,
when your standing in the in-between,
you learn exactly what not to be.
and after all the hurt dreams,
and broken chances,
after sit outs and miss outs on all the school dances.
i will look back and applaud
that i was stronger than the weight of my circumstances.
---
but these hills will never crumble,
they have to be climbed,
and you can't scale these mountains
carrying what ought be left behind.
so i'll smile on the good days,
and swear i'm okay
smear makeup on the bad days
and chant it just the same.
---
because i may be broken.
but my stitches are holding
this wounded heart to it's frame.
and i'll wear my scars with pride
because i'm not ashamed.
and you can take a bow
and some critical acclaim.
because all you are is the reason
i didn't fade away.
your torture makes me stronger
and gives me a purpose just the same.
because who i was cannot remain
who i am and who i want to be is all that i can bare to claim.
so take this bow
and smile now, because its you who is to blame.
good living is the best revenge
and i will make you pay
